Many parents and psychologists still consider child obedience to be the number one sign of good parenting. But there are those who are sure that a reason for joy for parents is that children begin to do the opposite of what is asked of them. Because in this way they train to defend their point of view, learn from their own mistakes and accept themselves as they are. And finally they become harmoniously developed and unapologetic adults.
On the contrary, following parental orders to the letter can cause problems. In the network there are entire threads where people already adults complain that they still cannot feel free and happy because of the way they were raised.
They ignore the wishes of their parents and choose their own activities to their liking
Although sometimes it seems to us that our daughter is “just like me”, or that our son is “a copy of his father”, we must remember that children are independent people. Of course you can try to raise your own copy to embody in the child everything that you yourself did not get to do, but there is always the risk that later, he will say that he never liked doing it. Disobedient children, on the other hand, begin to defend their interests early on, often becoming successful and famous.
- My father said, “My son will never be an artist.” They didn’t send me to music school, even though I was talented. As a result, at age 18 I started playing black metal in college. I learned everything by myself, I write my own music and work as a sound engineer. © aham / Pikabu
- My father was a hardened driver. The road was his religion, and the automobile his temple. Needless to say, by hook or by crook, I crawled into the garage in every way possible. And I didn’t want to. Cars didn’t interest me. Now they don’t either. I did not collect the Turbo gum images, I always gave them to my friends, whose hands shook when they saw them. I didn’t ask to “take a ride” in the grown-up car, and growing up I didn’t go to driving school to get a driver’s license. Dad loved me, but he was clearly disappointed. For this reason we always kept a certain distance. © TenUp / Pikabu
- When Siemens color and camera phones came out, I started taking photos, spending time on ICQ, playing The Sims, and editing images in primitive Photoshop, which was also on the phone. My parents weren’t happy with it and they didn’t understand it. In the end, having told me that I was not good at anything except my “scribbles”, they convinced me to enter a pedagogical school. With the arrival of the first smartphones, I began to get carried away by the topics of smartphonesand wallpapers, and I found various launchers on Google Play. I started searching for and downloading icons, and changing the overall look of my phone. As a result, I now work as an interface designer, I have experience in IT and in the field of mobile games. It goes without saying that the salary of a designer and that of a drawing teacher cannot even be compared. © AnaChell / Pikabu
They break the strict regime
Any psychologist will tell you that it is important not only to be able to work well, but also to have a good rest and, most importantly, to enjoy it. But how can you rest when since childhood your day is programmed literally by minutes? And now we are adults, but we have not learned to relax. We no longer have after-school workshops and college classes, but the guilt over allowing ourselves to sleep a little longer on Saturday morning is still with us.
- “You will not go out to play, first you will do your homework, and then you will not go either, because it will be too late”, “You don’t have to stay up late. You must get up early tomorrow ”,“ What is the weekend? We will not stay to visit, we must go to attend to our unfinished business / prepare for the exams ”, and so on. And now, even on a weekend off, I can’t relax, because that feeling that something needs to be done doesn’t leave me alone. © FloMaster / Pikabu
- At first, your parents don’t let you stay over at your friends’ houses, they don’t allow you to go out after 8:00 p.m., they control your communication with the kids and cultivate in you the idea that “it is better to stay at home than hang out god knows where. Luckily you’re calm ”. And then when you turn 18, they ask you why you don’t have a boyfriend or friends. © HeIIoSidney96 / Twitter